Discussing your problems with someone you love is the
best way to get help and solutions to the problem
“If one pretends to be dead, mourners will pretend to bury
you alive,” is one of the thousands of African proverbs meant to educate, shape
our lives and inspire us, as each proverb carries a moral lesson, advice, and
wisdom. This particular proverb speaks against pretending.
As imperfect human beings, we are responsible for both the
good and bad things we do. Whichever way one takes it, to pretend is also
considered to be something bad.
The question is why do people pretend?
According to a study, pretending has both advantages and disadvantages.
Sometimes one needs to pretend. For example, when all of a
sudden in a cinema hall, a gunman on a shooting spree takes everyone by
surprise without any escaping route, pretending to be dead among those already
dead could save your life.
But in other ways, pretending can cause
self-destruction, depression, loneliness and other psychological problems. How?
The pressure in the society is enormous. Things are not
going well, yet many people prefer to hide their problems behind a false smile.
If you don’t share your problem with your family or a trustworthy friend, how
can someone know your problem to give the attention or help you need?
Researchers reveal that hiding a problem behind a false smile or faking
happiness is more likely to bring you harmful feelings.
You might not be happy with your job, because your boss or a colleague is sexually harassing you, exploiting you physically, emotionally and
mentally, yet you wear a false smile behind such psychological scars.
Instead
of pretending to be okay, it’s always better to tell your problem to someone to
receive help.
Many wish to be someone, because of the extravagant lives
other people live. But we must be careful about what we sometimes wish for. We
must be content with whatever we have to live a happy life.
Don’t let your
neighbor’s expensive car, push you to live beyond your means, and put on a fake
smile, deceiving people that you are living great, while you know that you are
struggling to make ends meet.
In Africa and other countries around the world, many are
believed to be sick of HIV but scared to go and see the doctor, because they
aren’t ready to be told they have contracted HIV or Aids.
They rather
prefer to hide their problems with a fake smile, forgetting that no one drinks
medicine on behalf of a sick person.
To pretend that everything is okay, while suffering, is not
good for our health, we must, therefore, confine our problems to those close to
us for help and solutions. That’s the only way we can overcome and defeat our
problems.